Relaxing, the BDSM-way

Coping with stress is quite difficult for me as the abuse I went through during my childhood and young adulthood has changed my basic stress level and my rating of what actually is stressful either. It turns out that many things others like to do or things others find relaxing are stressful for me, for example visiting crowded places such as cinemas or cafés. I tend to be overcautious in those situations so that my stresslevel is even increased. One way to get along with this is of course to avoid situations like these or to take someone with me whom I trust. Another way is relaxing, the BDSM-way.

It is hard to stay stressed while you’re bound, blindfolded, gagged and listening to your lover’s caressing voice. When I give up control and my senses are cooled down, I can finally relax. It isn’t neccessarily a lustful, sexual emotion, although this might be. It is more the certainty that you’re safe and being taken care of. You don’t have to think, speak or act. It ends all the chattering inside and gives you the opportunity to calm down.

Second, in some way spanking is a technique to keep you focussed on the moment, to increase your attention. When you’re being spanked your thoughts don’t drift anymore. You’re paying attention to every hit and in the breaks you’re paying attention to the slightest movements or noises that tell you when to expect the next hit.

And third, focussing on your lover’s lust as you try to send him climaxing is not to keep you coped with the things that put stress on you. But ha ha, it might turn out that you experience stress later on as your lover brings you close to orgasm and then denies you to cum… It’s been 39 days now without orgasm for me and just a wee bit of milking. Sometimes I feel as if I’m bursting, really, but if I tell John, he just smiles, stimulates me to the edge and then denies me again. Now, is that relaxing? In a weird way, yes.

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