These are the rules John gave to me and which I live by for about 2 years now. Rules may be changed or added by my Master and I have the right to tell him if I think a rule needs be adjusted to fit better for me, my life and my affection. Also, these rules turned out to work for both of us, so we stick to them.
I’ll mark the basic rule with bold letters and add some explanations as well.
- Be kind. Ok, I guess that might sound strange at first as we’re talking about BDSM, but kindness is one attribute of a gentleman and as I have stated in a former posting, John and I do it the “English way”. In fact, my Master is a native Englishman and was brought up in order to be a gentleman. This rule implies that I am not only to be kind, but also mindful and dutiful and that I use a proper language without cursing and nasty words. It also means that I am to be on time and respectful to everyone.
- Be honest. Absolutely no lies, excuses or half-truth-telling allowed! I had to lie a lot to survive what my father did and so I got used to it. Even worse, I got used to lie to myself about what was ok for me, what I could take or what I really wanted and needed. Between John and me, I have to tell the absolute truth from the bottom of my heart. If he asks me “Can you take it?” and I reply “Yes”, then I’ll have to take it, because if I knew before that I could not bare it, it was my fault not telling the truth. This rule includes that I have no right to keep anything to myself. No secrets. If John asks me about something, I have to answer earnest, open and completely. No reservations.
- Have trust. Obviously one of the most difficult rules for me. It means that I can trust John with my life. He as my Master will take care of me, will respect my boarders and act for the best of me. But it doesn’t say: stop thinking or stop stating doubts. When I feel like I can’t handle anything, I have to tell the truth about it (2nd rule!), so that John can adjust his deeds and decisions.
- Obey. As John knows me so well and asks me regularly if I can take what he wants to give to me, it is my part to obey, if I have not decided and said that I could not handle it (2nd rule again). Of course we have a safeword, so that I may stop actions that I can’t take against my expectations, but I am not to use it if something is only a little uncomfortable. It is my sheet anchor if I really can’t cope with anything.
- Take care of yourself. This is what we call “our everyday-life-rule”. It implies that I eat, drink and sleep enough, that I go to work and to see my therapist, that I wear clothes which suit weather and climate, take care of my household duties, have enough spare time for myself and to spend with friends and so on. It ensures a healthy life.
These are what I would call the general rules. There are some more which are more specific, especially concerning our sexual relationship, such as:
- John is in charge to decide if, when, where, how and how ofter I am allowed to climax. No masturbation without permission.
- I am to serve John whenever, wherever, however he wants to.
- I am regularly spanked or given a caning.
- John can lend me other men and decide what they are allowed to do to me. John can have sexual intercourse with whom he likes. These 2 rules aren’t used at the moment as I found out that currently I can’t bare this.
- It is John to decide about the punishment in case I didn’t stick to the rules. Exceptions: no needle-games, no stubbing out cigarettes, no feces and nothing seriously injuring.
Well, I am not going to argue the fact that we are slightly strange…