46 Days Now

Yesterday John and I had a good laugh concerning my previous posting. He said: “uh, Honey, you can’t offer any sperm to Lord Shiva. Remember, I am your keyholder and I don’t think I’ll share!”. Ha ha, well, yes, these are obviously the theological problems of being locked🙂

It’s been 46 days now without being allowed to cum and I have reached the state of mind John likes me to be in: neat, obedient and subliminally suffering all the time. The physical labour during the move was good for me as it helped releasing the pressure a bit, but as I settle down a little now, the pressure returns. Even worse, living together with John provides him with more opportunities to tease and deny me: just some well uttered words here, just a quick touch there and I’m on fire.

The everyday life with a chastity device is quite demanding, as I have stated before. Although I find the Birdlock very comfortable, I can feel it in every single moment which implies that every single moment I am reminded of my unability to decide about my lust, my greed and my sexual needs. In the first 5 weeks of being locked up, I have not even been touched (although I was to satisfy John), and now it’s been about 10 to 14 days since John resumed stimulation. What does that mean? Actually of course not that I am to climax. It does not even mean that I am unlocked regularly (except for washing, shaving and creaming), although this might be if John is in the mood. Lately he developed the thought that I should be able to squirt while still locked in the chastity device and just having my balls worked over. Probably not so easy! I haven’t managed to do so yet, but it hurts in a painful ticklish way I adore. If I am unlocked, John likes to give me ruined handjobs. Just enough to squeeze out three drops of sperm and then lock me in again. I presume the blue-balls-effect has turned to a purple-balls-effect LOL!

Yesterday John has given a new task to me: watching some sort of porn I like for half an hour daily. Well, might sound nice, but in fact it increases my horniness. And I know there won’t be no release. What a fucking neat game we play…

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