Last weekend my Love and I went hiking again. It was quite a long trip (5 hrs) and we took something to eat and drink with us. We found a nice place near a little creek and sat by the running water, eating, cuddling and talking. I feel so safe with John. Sometimes I feel like a child again, who looks up to his Dad who explains the world to him. In fact, I seem to understand a lot more of the world now than I ever did before. John is very smart and good in explaining things to others and I love listening to him. His view often changes my perception. I guess I’ve grown a lot more self-confident since we met. For the first time in my life I know for sure that there is someone standing behind me, even if he doesn’t like every little thing I do or say. I really feel at home.

At the moment, I am not very horny and can accept being kept in chastity very well. I do not ponder on sex very often, although I still really like to service my Love and do it every day, sometimes more than once. I feel very good in my role as a submissive to-be-husband and housekeeper. Sometimes I think of quitting my job in the shop, but I won’t do so because I like work and my co-workers and would miss them. And, as my brother puts it, it is a chance for me to earn my own money as I have refused to accept our father’s heritage.

Sometimes John and I visit gay clubs, but most times I just watch him with the other guys. It’s still ticklish and I’m still a bit jealous, but I enjoy watching John having fun. It’s good to crawl into this arms when we’re home again. Just to know I’m the one the chose to live with.

Next week John will spend three days in the U.S. and I did not want to accompany him because of the long flight. It will be the first time I’ll try to be alone at home. W and S already offered to come over if I’d find out that I feel bad alone, but at the moment I feel like I’ll be able to handle it. I have planned to read and sketch a lot, perhaps even outside if the weather stays that fine.

My life is beautiful at the moment. I wish it could go on forever like this 🙂


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