My view of Lord Shiva is quite ambiguous, I suppose. On the one hand, he appears to me as a tramp, like someone who has abandoned living by social rules and standards. In this appearance he is drawn to bum around, beg for food and really giving a shit about what others may think of him. On the other hand, he appears as a dominant Alpha male, well-clad and well-behaved. And to be honest, sometimes it scares me how similar he then is to John LOL
For others, there may be uncountable images more of Lord Shiva, and although I have gotten a glimpse of them, I had not much to do with them.
Both aspects of him teach me valuable things, not only about myself, but about life in general. If I should tell in which aspect I find myself, it’d be more in the tramp than in the Alpha male. Of course I have not given up living my society’s rules and I really mind about what others think of me, but I complete fail seeing myself as Alpha.
The tramp aspect of Lord Shiva is an insightful meditation teacher. He is very accepting and does not mind if I defer tasks. He encourages me to enjoy life, especially the little treats that don’t cost any money at all, like sunshine on my face, a nice conversation and so on. He is frugal and makes me remember with how little I can survive or have survived actually. He does not only accept but really recommends the use of drugs to open one’s mind to higher dimensions, although we both have come to the agreement that for me it would be best to keep from using them. He guided me to psychedelic music which’s effects are enough for me and he was glad to see how certain breathing techniques I have learned during Yoga classes have a mild effect of beaming me away, too. To be honest, although I have liked to kill my pain by drinking alcohol in former years, I’ve become a coward concerning “higher” levels of consciousness. It’s ok to drift monitored by John during our games, but I don’t like to lose the connection to my body in other ways!
The tramp aspects tells me not to worry so much about the past or the future and live fully from now to now. I’m taken care of, he keeps telling, and I really wish I could believe him.
The Alpha aspect of Lord Shiva is very pushy and dominant. He tells me to perform and perform brilliant. He does not accept excuses and demands 100% from me, in whatever situation. He keeps emphasizing that I’m able to overcome everything as soon as I’m willing to do all I can to achieve my goal. He demands hard work and keeps pushing when I’m whimpering about. He does not accept excuses for bad behaviour and tells me to be straight up. He’s the one I can rely on on bad days. He makes me getting up, eating and drinking, and working actually. He scorns laziness.
It was quite a surprise to me, when I found out both of these aspects do not judge me for who I am. They just have different ways of making contact with me.