Day 1

(This is part of my mail to John.)

Lately I remembered one of the first times we had sex. It still was in XXX Strasse, and I had this small, worn bed and S and C were next door. I liked it better to meet at yours, but you had come to surprise me with take away food and your portable chess board. (…)

After we told the girls good night, we went to my room, where I pretended talking about work and putting away the laundry, while I could only think of your mouth and what I wanted you to do with it. You kept watching me some minutes, examining every movement I made, and I felt more and more uncomfortable, wishing you’d take the initiative. And you did. (…)

I tried my best not to burst out in screams, and you know how I need to show my lust. You fucked me relentlessly (…). You asked: “Did I hurt you?” and I only replied “yes”, but I guess you could tell from the sound of my voice that I liked it. (…)

You kept in place while calming down and I could feel you inside me. You looked at me and I wondered if it was shyness I saw. You smiled faintly and then murmured: “Your brother would kill me if he knew what I did to you”. Again I just replied “yes” and we kept looking in each other’s eyes. (…) I have never regretted allowing you these first attempts of consensual violence (…)

 

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