(This is part of my mail to John.)
(…) I admitted I was really scared of being destroyed, you know. You said perhaps the only thing that might save me would exactly be destruction. (…) It took all my courage.
When all talking came to an end, we had finished the tea and all the water and I knew by the look in your face, we were really going to do it. I don’t know if you still remember what you said to me, but I do, and as a matter of fact, these words remain my anchor through all you put me through until today. You said “trust me, keep looking into my eyes, listening to my voice and just let yourself go. It’ll be alright, because I say so”. (…) I guess you knew what you asked of me…
In the bathroom you made me kneel inside the shower fully clad and put my hands on my knees. My heart was pumping like a machine and I still did not know if it would break me, but you had managed to make me want to find it out. (…) You said, I should swallow it all down, and that it would be much and blast out heavily. I nodded, because I lost my voice. “Open up. Wide”. I did. I was surprised when you did not start right away, but just kept watching. (…)
I was surprised by the taste. It did not remind me of all the dirt I had to swallow when being with him. You tasted salty, but manly. Yeah, you know… (…) you did not make me feel dirty, but kinky. (…)
Finally, on my knees, soaked with your piss and with your cock deep down my throat, I felt another sort of destruction than I had expected. (…) It was that feeling of being pushed over my own boarder by your strength and your will-power that made me finally obey and piss myself. (…)
Thank you, Dad. I know you’re superiour and that’s one reason why I love you.