Mo has come up with the idea of creating one’s own pride flag. I thought I just might state my thoughts (if that’s okay).
I have never had anything with a rainbow on it to showcase I’m gay, although I am completely open about being gay. On the other hand, I too have never had anything to showcase I’m into BDSM (or masochistic/submissive, to be more precise) and I even find it strange to wear certain bracelets when visiting BDSM- or gay-clubs.
So I guess for me, it all boils down to the question whether or not I am proud of being gay (or having whatever sexual preferences). To be honest, being proud of my sexual/romantic orientation feels a bit odd, as I have not chosen to be gay or submissive. It was no decision I made and it sure was no achievement. It just happened to be like this and I feel there’s not much more to it.
On the other hand, I am well aware of the fact that being gay (or lets put it that way: not being heterosexual) and having sexual/romantic cravings which are a bit…remote…is understood to be of political interest. When gay men started fighting for their rights in the late 1960’s and the early 1970’s, it was thought that the private was political as well (as far as I remember, this slogan arose from the feminist movements, but that’s not my cup of tea). To keep that movement running, it was neccessary that gay men came out of their closet, and it sure was not as “normal” as it is today, due to §175, which said that whatever sexual intercourse between two males was sodomy and therefore banned. Lesbians have never been criminalized by the law in Germany, by the way, so the gay and the lesbian movements did not really collaborate for quite a long time.
I guess we owe those men who came out as gay though there was §175 still existing a lot, and I feel like today not coming out and not being proud of being gay is a bit outlawed. But nevertheless, I always think it’s odd that so many people are interested in who is gay (especially concerning celebrities and soccer-players), just to claim “well, that’s perfectly normal!”, after one has come out and therefore to prove it’s not! LOL! Just imagine some guy telling you he has fallen in love with a girl and your reaction would be: “wow, so you’re heterosexual? Congrats, dude, that’s awesome…but perfectly normal! Don’t worry about it! But…who’s…you know….the receiving part in your relationship?” LOL!!!
So, I guess being gay is not as normal as it should be and I understand that there is still the need for gay men coming out and showcasing being gay. Hopefully one day, being gay might be regarded as normal as it actually is. But to be honest, I myself do not want to be one of them. I’m not involved in the gay movement, I do not join CSD events and I do not talk to younger gay men about having safer sex or whatever. I myself am not especially proud of being gay, but on the other hand, I do not hide it. Well, or to be more precise: I just hide it if John wants me to. He’s out to most people, but there are occasions in which it is wiser for him to appear as straight, so that I back off a bit. I don’t want to explain that any further, you just have to trust me 😉
And last but not least I have isues with being proud of myself. Most times I see myself as a weak person who has not achieved anything. That’s okay somehow, but I regard a proud flag for myself as futile.
I hope my thoughts do not offend anyone.