The last days of No-vember have dawned. So far, this month has been really demanding as I was denied all the way. No T&D, no fucking, just BJs and a lot of humiliation. What started as a throbbing has developed to a modified way of thinking. Whatever I do, wherever I am, I constantly think of cock. I look at other men’s genitals, I think about their cocks, ponder upon occasions I got used by many or upon the satisfaction afterwards, and when John finally allows me to welcome him, I’m so greedy I swallow on his cock dyspneicly and desperately with him laughing at his dumb fuckwhore.
Last week he sent me shopping with a list. Stockings, a garter belt, two or three panties (he calls them “Schlampenhöschen”, which in my opinion is both cute and kinky) and “something you really hate”. It turned out they offered a lot of stuff for reduced prices and I went a bit shopaholic. By now I wear women’s undies only. For everyday life, I like “normal” panties which often just have a little bow at the wristband, but for other occasions, John and I like lace panties. To be honest, after all my experiences concerning the women’s department, I’d say they definitely design some underwear just to make women feel slutty and men treat them like their whores, but maybe that’s just my perverted point of view. But you hardly find any equivalents in the men’s department!
That “something I really hate” turned out to be pants made of very stiff and glossy fabric (as far as I know, there is no specific English word for what it really is. Anyway, in German it’s called a “Miederhose”, so if you know its correct name, let me know please :)). It’s got plenty of ugly quillings and when I saw it hanging there I asked myself whoever would want to buy and actually wear such a desaster LOL John was very pleased with that ugly thing. Some days later, after these pants were washed and dry, he made me wear a diaper and that thing over it. Well, it was then, when something happened I did not expect. It turned my on like hell, even more than those Schlampenhöschen. That was because of two things: it was very tight, especially with the Birdlock underneath, and it was really ridiculous and ugly. That was an odd experience, you know, being turned on by ugly. So, for some days now, I’ve been wearing these pants with a diaper underneath. In the evenings I give it a quick rinse by hand, then dry it on the radiator so that it is ready to be worn right after I got up. John had a good laugh at me, trying to look somewhat pretty with these pants on, and yeah, this humiliation is so tingly… All in all, I guess I have failed to buy “something I really hate” 🙂
The worst thing about No-vember: you’re hoping for December to come, and your Dom’s telling you “I don’t know why you’re so excited about December to come. I don’t recall having said you’d be allowed to come then. I’ve got the keys, remember?”. Oh, I do…