Missing

After No-vember, there came No-cember. I was not even able to tell John he was being “unfair”, because he had never said that I would be released from the Birdlock in December. Sigh. So as the days went by, I tried my best not to think of cock only, but it was hard. 2015 has been the most chaste year ever for me and I guess that was due to the fact that I had agreed to bring things up to a new level. Being kept chaste is one thing, being denied to get fucked another. I found I can cope quite “well” with chastity as long as I get my satisfation by getting fucked. It’s not the same as an orgasm, but it’s good anyway. But being denied this pleasure as well makes it worse. I try my best not to complain and mourn about it, but I think I fail😉

During these times of strict chastity, John does not even tease me by touching my butt or nipples or French kissing or whatever. I’m just allowed to deep throat like the whore I am, being allowed to serve only. I love deep-throating, but compared to other pleasures it stays a bit behind as my throat is not really an area of physical joy. It’s more that I like to feel overwhelmed and out of control when he decides how much air I’m getting. It’s more like a psychological pleasure, isn’t it?

I guess I have never told my husband more often how much I miss his beautiful cock than in 2015. And that’s true for the past weeks as well. There were occasions when he showed me what I was missing, for example when he ran around naked after showering, which almost got me whimpering for to take it. He laughed at me, telling me he likes how dull I look when I see his cock. Uhm, yes. Seeing what you can’t have makes it worse, right?

Now, yesterday night I was quite sure it was going to be a normal night. We went to bed at our normal time and I snuggled up inside his arms. Comfy. Then he began touching me, very tender and slowly. I thought “no, don’t even dare to have hopes, you’ll be diappointed anyway”. He took his time, as ever, but finally he did something strange with my panties. I didn’t realize it at first, but he made a hole in them by using his clasp knife. Ugh. “Seems you’re wearing fucked panties…”, he whispered, and simultaneously I could feel one fingertip touching me, electrifying my in an instance. Oh, that sweet, cruel whispering. I have never experienced this before I met him. He’s able to control me by his voice alone, telling me the sweetest and the worst things at a time. He let his finger wander. “You’re excited”. Yes, Sir. “Why?”. OMG! I told him and he chuckled. “Don’t hope for much. You know you’ll only be disappointed”. Ugh, right. But he kept on.

After a while he took the lubricant and rubbed it on me. Please…oh please…But he stopped. I waited. Nothing. I kindly asked him to please go on. “I’m tired, son”. Ugh. Of course, Sir, but… “But what?” I need it…please…please…! He hesitated and I thought, OK, that’s it, I’ve ruined it, he did not want to, dammit. And then his fingers, his cock…He fucked me right through that hole in my panty and I was like drooling and crying and being out of myself at once. But the best thing, he paused to release me from the Birdlock, for the first time since the end of October. My cock was hard right away, almost painful, but he kept me from touching it. First of all, he needed to cum, and I was so thankful.

Afterwards, he lay next to me and began stroking me very slowly. I didn’t count how often he almost got me there, but then stopped, but when he finally made me cum, I felt like being so much in my body and being so far away from me at the same time, I felt like the lights would faint LOL He used my cum as a lube and fucked me again, with the panty still on, and I didn’t feel anything but love and thankfulness and, well, COCK.

Today, I’m still wearing that panty, but I finally got rid of the Birdlock. When Love left in the morning he kissed me and told me I smell of spunk. Uhm, yeah, and I guess I’ve added to that. I’m so horny and can’t wait for him to come home…and cum again…

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