Another week in chastity is over and the thrid week has just begun. I’m not back in that chastity-pace yet and things are sometimes a bit rough. When Master told me to lock myself in two weeks ago, that was unforeseen. It’s been a while since I was locked in for longer than a short period of time and as chastity was the last thing I got in my mind, it caught me red-handed. So to say.
After beind denied all the way first, in the past week John allowed me to take care for him again. That made it a bit easier, but not really enjoyable. I’m glad I’ve got so many online friends who also maintain a 24/7-lifestyle including T&D and chastity, because talking to them often helps me over the lows connected with chastity. Obviously, anyone experiences them, and obviously it doesn’t keep us from consenting to chastity again LOL
Recently, I was wondering why chastity at all is so appealing to me and why it satisfies me in a certain way. Why is it even possible to gain sexual satisfaction from not being satisfied?
I guess it’s about your overall nature. If you’re not submissive, you won’t probably like the idea of chastity at all and even find that concept strange and superfluous. I mean, of course I like having orgasms. Who doesn’t? They’re one of the few things that really help me relax, at least for a short while, during that post-orgasmic chill. Being kept in chastity just means your hormones build up and make you hornier each hour, because there is no relief. When John decides to lock me in for a day or so, that’s exactly what turns me on. I get so horny, but don’t get relief right away, but I know that relief is on its way. That expends the arousal. Being kept chaste for a longer period of time can be very frustrating, because there is no relief. Well, even if Master likes to evoke hopes, there is no relief 🙂 That makes me angry and frustrated. Coping with these feelings is hard, I won’t lie.
Most times, I try to distract myself by doing my chores, go running and so on, but sometimes all coping strategies are just useless. Now, does that frustration satisfy me? In a certain way, it does. It serves my masochistic needs. Knowing that I’m not worth being satisfied, is indeed very satisfying, if that doesn’t sound too stupid 🙂 I run around with that horny, locked cock and would do most anything for an orgasm, and then I am humbled again. What more could a sub wish for? 🙂
I guess chastity is a kind of prolonged “foreplay”, if you will. It can last for months and guide you very deep into frustration and that feeling of worthlessness. Then again, having a Master who appreciates what you endure can provide you with a deep feeling of love and contentedness. Well, John is obviously not only appreciating what I endure, he also really likes to make fun of me, which I like in that certain humiliating way as well 🙂
After some time in chastity, being kept locked in becomes more of a mental issue than only a physical problem. Doctors say that there can’t be a thing like semen holdup, but at least it feels like it, and running around with balls that feel just too full without any chance to get relief changes the way your brain works. Or at least the way my brain works. As soon as I have overcome that urgent need to cum, I get milder and am a better slut. I become more willing to please and am even more submissive in a certain way. And that’s totally satisfying for me.
I have thought a lot about the question whether or not being forced to cum by my father made chastity to interesting for me. The device is somehow safe and I think I’m right where I belong: there for John, there to satisfy his sadistic needs.
And that’s an interesting question, too: why is having a partner you keep in chastity so attractive for him? He says, it’s all about power. He likes to be in charge and taking away my right to touch myself and have a fulfilling sex life is a huge turn on. He loves to see me suffer and frustrate me by T&D and having sex with others. Having control over my lust is the ultimate turn on. So I guess that’s all about his nature.
Are you being kept chaste? Why do you like that? Does it really satisfy you?