With W

On the weekend, John and I were invited over to W’s and M’s. W spend several weeks in the U.S. meeting friends and family. He brought many photographs with him and we took a look at them and had the best Cajun food made by him and M 🙂 I found that life in Louisiana (or maybe in the U.S. in general) is quite different to my life here. For example, I was a bit shocked when he told me he went to hunt crocodiles with his uncle, but he told me that those are quite the same as wild boars in Germany and that their population needs to be controlled. I have never eaten crocodile, but John has, and they talked about the taste of it and what to do with the meat. Too much information actually.

W said that he needs these times over in the U.S. to stay in contact with his roots and his traditions, and though I think I can understand that, it made me a bit sad, too. Because I feel like I don’t have anything to connect to, even though my brother and I have good contact.

I was totally impressed by the beautiful yet unfamiliar landscape and houses as well. Their flora and fauna is so manifold! I guess I could spend weeks just gazing at the old trees and the interesting birds and insects. W was also invited to several spiritual happenings and that caught my interest, too. He told us about a ceremony for a local spiritual being during which they put their offerings inside bottles or enwinded them with cord to hang them into the tree branches. To me, it all seemed so lively and vivid, really beautiful. He got a present from one of his aunts, a wooden “icon” with a carved and painted inside, showing three beings, including Mother Mary. As far as I understood, these are a kind of guides for anyone who seeks wisdom and knowledge and they also protect the bearer.

I uttered that even though we have spent so much time together in the years we know each other, I still feel like I only got a quick glance of what his spiritual world really consists of. I have to admit, in former days I was not very much interested in what he did and probably I should have asked him more about it 🙂 I think it’s all so hard to understand for me, because it’s very different from any spiritual/religious education I have gotten. I was brought up in a catholic environment, even though religion was not a thing at home, and to me God is somehow like a strict father with rules I was not yet to understand properly. I always think of Jesus as a sort of martyre and feel sorry for him. When I was younger, I had a phase in which I tried to pray to Jesus, because I felt he must have been able to connect to me and help me, but he did not, and so I guess I stopped believing in him. Mother Mary is someone I can’t connect to, either. W refers to her as the ever-loving mother of all who nonetheless has a powerful force, but to me, being brought up without a mother, she always stayed non-point. When W talks about them, they seem more touchable and alive.

At the end, W asked whether I wouldn’t like to accompany him when he visits in the U.S. again (which will be in March, for 10 days). I was honoured, but I’m afraid of the thought as well. It’s one thing to travel with John, but I don’t know if I should really dare to do so. I trust W and he knows me well, but I fear I might just get lost, mentally. Well, it’s still time to decide. John says I should go, because it would do me good. We’ll see. I’m a coward 🙂


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