My wish to have boobs has not vanished, even though I have decided not to go on hormones. First of all, being allowed to hormone replacement therapy in Germany isn’t easy at all and you need to prove that you’re transsexual which I am not. So that’s no option. The possibility to get hormones anyway might be given, but due to my mental issues that doesn’t sound like a good idea. I really don’t need anything that makes my condition worse.
I’ve been pumping my breast for a long while now, almost one year and a half, but I think either I don’t do it often or long enough or it just doesn’t work. My breast feels a bit thicker and heavier after pumping, but there are no real results. Well, not in actual boob growth, but pumping and treating my nipples with clamps and those small vibration eggs alomost every day has made them very, very sensitive. I know there are guys whose nipples are sensitive by nature, but mine were not, and I am pleased with the results. In fact, I sometimes manage to cum by nip play alone, and that’s really awesome I think 🙂
I’m wearing a bra or a vest with support on a regular base, everyday. Sometimes I stuff it, sometimes I don’t, it depends. For work, most of the times I don’t, but when I meet friends or am at home, I do. Although I like those small silicone boobs, they don’t really give me a feeling of natural boobs, as they are a bit too stiff, and so I have come to use 2 to 4 silken scarves. They are warm and cozy against my skin, lightweight and can be removed very quickly if I need to. I also find nursing pads very helpful. I buy them at the chemist’s shop and they can be stuck inside the bra. I also have some made of cotton, but they have a weird shape 🙂
Sometimes when John and I cuddle, we pretend he’s drinking milk from me. It’s hard to describe, but it’s not only kinky, but first of all it’s just loving. I just wish I could find a way to grow natural boobs. Wouldn’t have to be big, just a bit more than no boobs. I think it’s a bit funny. Most of my life I didn’t know how much I actually love to get touched there, and now it sometimes just hurts not to have boobs at all. Sigh.