I can’t believe it’s just 4 days into No-vember, really. Though I spent some time in chastity this year, I was more or less able to get relief quite often, and as I fail in relaxing even though I’m doing sports and practise Yoga, wanking really helps along. Worst of all, No-vember again means that I’m denied all the way: neither do I get to suck John off nor do I get fucked. But that of course doesn’t indicate my loveing husband is kept from his pleasure. He always finds someone willing to pleasure him, and if in doubt he enjoys showing me what I don’t get. Ugh.
Moreover, during this month I’m not allowed to touch my nipples, apart from when I’m taking a shower. They’ve grown so sensitive that I could cum if I stimulated them. I’m a bit concerned about how they will feel after a month without stimulation, and I fear I won’t be able to cum by nip play alone afterwards, but John just said that then I’d have to start from the beginning again.
Tomorrow evening Love will be attending a gay club, while I’ll be staying at home to do some long neglected paperwork and clean out our wardrobe. He likes me occupied with boring stuff while he’s having fun, occasional pictures of him fucking someone else included.
Whenever I’ve not been kept chaste on a regular base or for a long time, I wonder how on earth I am supposed to deal with the frustration that starts building up as soon as the lock on the cage is closed. I spent an awful lot of time with thinking about sex, wanking and having sex usually and having all that spare time when locked in makes me insecure. I tend to think I should use that time as good as I can, which often leads to exhaustion because I forget about the breaks inbetween tasks and sports. I guess being denied is about finding other canals for your energy, but that’s really hard.
On the other hand, No-vember is such a nice opportunity to humble myself again and show John how much I love him. I know he totally likes that control over me and having me suffer from my sex drive that I can’t live out. I know Love would be correcting me now…it’s not my sex drive, it’s his, and he decides what to do with it 😉