No-vember, still, and Iˋm still horny like fuck. About a week ago, John handed me a list of tasks to “distract” me from my need to get fucked, my urge to cum. Iˋve been a good housewife since and his house is spic and span, while my balls are violet. Sometimes I get into a state of mind where I think I can make it, then again Iˋm just frustrated and sort of aggressive. Of course being aggressive doesnˋt pay. John mocks or punishes me for being rude, which both makes me even more horny, and that doesnˋt help at all.
The past weekend, we went hiking. It was quite clammy and damp, but I was able to get my mind clear. Until my sweet husband told me to undress, right there where we were, in the middle of a forest. Even if I feel like laughing then, I always know he is serious. He watched me as I put down layer after layer, finally standing there just with a bra, a panty and the Birdlock. He took some photos, then told me to completely undress. It was really uncomfortable and cold with my feet getting dirty and cold as ice. Well, then he just left me standing there, freezing and hurting, yet horny from getting observed. He made remarks about my pathetic clit which seemed to shrink even more in the cold. He knows these body punishments remind me of what my father did, and he really likes that sort of edging me mentally. Well, I do, too. It may have been 5 to 7 minutes until he allowed me to dress again, but he had archieved what he had intented: I felt used and sore though he didnˋt even touch me. Ugh.
In the car, he put up the heater, and after we returned home, he had me taking a long bath. By the way, I just remember a porn I saw recently with a dom in it who said to his whore that aftercare is nothing granted. I think thatˋs right. Aftercare is a special treat, nothing a sub could hope to get regularly. To be honest, it would confuse my sub-feelings if John treated me after every session or service. When we play Daddy-son-stuff, I always need and get aftercare, but in every other case aftercare is just an option he can choose or not. And to me, aftercare is much more than just cuddling or putting lotion on a red arse (which is stupid, anyhow). Telling me to take a bath after being in the cold is as well aftercare as giving me tasks or slapping my face.
In the evening, he went to see one of his buddies, while I was to deepclean the kitchen. He told me later he had shown him the pics he had taken of me, standing there pathetic and sad in the woods like an abandoned trash bag, and they had a good laugh about me. And thatˋs quite how my life is at the moment. Iˋm not getting any sexual stimulation, Iˋm not allowed to suck or wank him, Iˋm just kept chaste and horny, pending between aggression and depression. Even if November is Johnˋs birth-month, I donˋt really feel for it😦